So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
