I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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