margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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