do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
