do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize