fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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