that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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