It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
