but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
