Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
