I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
