Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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