He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize