So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
