How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
