If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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