Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize