So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
