Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
