i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
