we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
