You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So much rum. So many feels.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
