So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
