Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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