Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
