i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
