Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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