good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
