i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
