oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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