nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
