i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
