I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize