Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
