I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
