she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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