And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
