so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
