I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
