What did we do last night that was yellow?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
