Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
