you're like a bully in the Christmas story
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
