You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
