He is an equal opportunity slut.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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