areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
