I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
