I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
