Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize