Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Everyone says I win the strip club
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
