CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
