I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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