Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
