what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Fuck appropriateness.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
