Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
