I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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