that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize