I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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