I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
