I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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