it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
