her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
try to milk me bitch
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
