I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
